17 Aug 2020
Day 17: Shady Maple Farms Stroopwafels vs Mi-del Ginger Snaps
Winner: Mi-del Ginger Snaps!! Sorry Kate to ruin your streak :(
Shady Maple Farms Stroopwafels scoring:
- smell: if you snorted maple syrup would it clog your nose? asking for a friend
- first bite: very very chewy maple syrup with a kinda dry overtone to it? its very crumbly everywhere
- second bite: heating up over my coffee does warm up the syrupiness but then it also gets bendy. which is bizarre for a cookie.
- dipping in beverage: this is what stroopwafles were made for, dipping in coffee is golden
last bite: they have perfected a way to eat syrup in handheld form.
- fingers: so very dusty with crumbs, must eat over plate and brush off fingers regularly
Mi-del Ginger Snaps scoring:
- smell: tons of ginger with a slight cardamony vibe? smells like winter.
- first bite: crunch city! very very crunchy cookies with an excellent spice combo. the ginger is intense on the backend.
- second bite: nomnomnom excellent spice cookie, excellent crunch. it could be a smidge less hard but im still digging it.
- dipping in beverage: just slightly starts to soften which is lovely. though dont hold under too long or it goes too far.
- last bite: it’s a bit odd to eat these when it’s 80 degrees outside but I do not care. bring on the spicy snaps!
- fingers: slight dust but the hardness of the cookie does help keep fingers clean
17 Aug 2020
Day 16: Thin Bites: Fudge Dipper Latte Oreo vs Golden Oreo
Winner: Golden Oreo. if I must.
Thin Bites: Fudge Dipper Latte Oreo scoring:
- smells: smells like very very very sweet coffee
- first bite: oh gack. tastes like very very very sweet coffee. no.
- just cookie: impossible
- just filling: also impossible
- dipped in beverage: oh god now it’s like very very very sweet coffee with more milk which makes it sweeter! please stop this madness.
- last bite: you made me hate coffee. congrats oreo.
Golden Oreo scoring:
- smells: whoa vanilla happening here
- first bite: ok so this is a vanilla cookie basically. it has no other flavors? at all? why does justin love these so much!?
- just cookie: plain cookie? it’s kinda vanilla? but mostly a cookie? sugar cookie? cookie. just stop and say “this is a cookie”
- just filling: sugar? I think it’s the normal oreo filling? no it’s more vanilliey. but also normaly oreo filling that is slightly vanilliey.
- last bite: sugar cookie oreo with some vanilla flavor? ????? I just have questions ??????
17 Aug 2020
Day 15: Lorna Doone Shortbread Cookie vs Keebler Deluxe Grahams
Winner: Lorna Doone Shortbread Cookie!
Keebler Deluxe Grahams scoring:
- smell: snorting chocolate is wonderful
- first bite: another crumby cookie! my floor is gonna need a vaccuum after this. ok so strong chocolate flavors, but the graham cracker kinda falls apart right away in my mouth.
- second bite: ok so the graham cracker isnt actually a graham cracker. it feels like it should crunch but does not crunch. it smooshes when bitten into. weird.
- dipping in beverage: just gets mooshier. do not like.
last bite: ultimately I want more crunch here. too squishy no crispy crunch as graham crackers should have.
- fingers: as long as you dont hold them too long, fingers stay clean. otherwise it starts to melt and contaminate your fingers.
Lorna Doone Shortbread Cookie scoring:
- smell: ooooo very buttery smell. exciting!
- first bite: oooooo nice, very nice. excellent buttery cookie, not too sweet but def a hint of sugar. fairly crumbly and now my desk is dirty. and now my floor is dirty cause I brushed it off my desk. now my cat is sniffing the crumbs.
- second bite: this is a happy cookie. yes a bit dry to be fair, but it would go so well with a coffee or a tea.
- dipping in beverage: actually holds up pretty well with milk. not that I think it improves the cookie but it shockingly did not turn into mush.
- last bite: this is a quality cookie I could eat all day AND is a special treat! welcome to Heather’s Brain Logic, you’re welcome
- fingers: pretty crumby
17 Aug 2020
Day 14: Olympic Oreo vs Peanut Butter Oreo
Winner: Peanut Butter Oreo? It’s the only one with some redeeming qualities.
Olympic Oreo scoring:
- smells: normal oreo? mostly smells like sugar
- first bite: nope it tastes different. it’s more sugary than the normal filling. like intensely sugar. like intensely fake sugar syrup.
- just cookie: ok thank god this a normal oreo cookie. it exists. I remembered correctly.
- just filling: ok so I don’t know how this is possible but it is too sugary for the creme filling. it’s gritty, I can feel the sugar granules in it, maybe? I dunno. A LOT is happening right now.
- dipped in beverage: oh god the insides turn to liquid when subjected to more liquid. what is happening?!
- last bite: way way way too sugary here. it completely overwhelms the cookie so all you are eating is extra gritty sugary frosting.
Peanut Butter Oreo scoring:
- smells: just snorting peanut butter over here
- first bite: ok strong PB happening and not sure I can taste the cookie? only PB? but it can’t be only PB, that’s too much PB. very confused.
- just cookie: ok so… I dont know if the cookie tastes like chocolate anymore. I know it should, but I dont think it does. I’m gonna eat another one. no…. still not sure it has chocolate in the cookie.
- just filling: spooning up PB from the jar. I mean its sugary PB, but basically PB.
- dipped in beverage: no gross, do not like. this does not need more flavors happening.
- last bite: way way way too much PB here. it completely overwhelms the cookie so all you are eating is PB.
17 Aug 2020
Day 13: Tim Tams vs Stauffers Animal Crackers
Winner: Tim Tams. But gotta say, I will freeze these from now on to protect fingers and cookie integrity
Stauffers Animal Cracker scoring:
- smell: I dunno they smell like animal crackers? what is that smell??
- first bite: ok so slight sugar flavor but very mild, a little bit of butter? basically these are very mild cookies that have some flavor I can’t name.
- second bite: dry cookies need more liquid to combat Sahara Mouth. but also they’re easy to eat.
- dipping in beverage: so these have magical teflon surfaces. to actually absorb the coffee, you must first piece the outer shell and expose the guts of the animal. which then immediately turns to a soggy mess. the outer shell has been forged over many generations of evolution.
- last bite: ok so while these are not the most thrilling cookies, I could eat them all day and not have my teeth rot from my skull. so there’s that.
- fingers: the cleanest fingers you ever did see
Tim Tams scoring:
- smell: CHOCOLATE IN YO FACE
- first bite: very chocolatey outside with a satisfying crunch on the inside. kinda seems like those wafer cookies? but then doused in fudge.
- second bite: oooo now I can taste the fudge between the wafer layers, it makes the wafers slide around in your mouth after eating. which is frankly a very weird sensation.
- dipping in beverage: ewwwww so gross. it becomes this gooey chocolate sludge. also part of it fell off and now my coffee is contaminated.
- last bite: ok so this kinda becomes a mess after a bit. like my fingers are gross, the cookie starts to melt everywhere, it falls apart in my mouth sliding all over the place. but it is quality chocolate so it’s got that.
- fingers: CHOCOLATE ON YOUR FINGERS. do you know how long this took to type as I have to only use one hand? these are messy messy cookies.