26 Jul 2020
Day 7: President’s Choice Chocolate Chip vs Hello Panda
Winner: Chocolate Chip! Canada reigns supreme.
Hello Panda scoring:
- smell: very very faint sugar smell but also I had to put my nose right on it so basically they don’t smell.
- first bite: I tried to bite it in half but I think most of the creamy middle is in the other half. sads.
- second bite: popped a whole new one in my mouth for full experience. now I get the chocolate cream but it’s mild.
- dipping in beverage: terrible mushy goo cookie and now the middle cream is trying to slide OUT of the cookie. thats terrible.
- last bite: I approve of all the fun things about these cookies: the packaging, the cartoon shapes, the stamped pandas, the inside full of cream. sadly the cookie itself doesn’t taste very fun.
- fingers: clean as a whistle.
President’s Choice Chocolate Chip scoring:
- smell: ooooo very chocolatey smells. my mouth is excited
- first bite: alright this is a primo chocolate chip cookie. the chocolate tastes expensive? or at least doesn’t taste fake.
- second bite: I am digging this cookie. yes it’s a bit dry as it’s a hard cookie and not soft, but daaaaaaang this chocolate is very very nice. hold on i’m gonna give one to the swede to see how it fares with the Expensive and European TasteBuds. The Swede says, “huh thats a pretty good cookie” which for him is high praise unless it’s salted licorice powder and then he loses his damn mind.
- dipping in beverage: eh, I just don’t like most cookies dunked in milk. soggy cookies are gross.
- last bite: There’s a reason CCCookies are so popular and this cookie is one of the reasons.
- fingers: fingers get pretty crumby but it doesn’t stick.
26 Jul 2020
Day Six: Dark Chocolate Oreo vs Chocolate Marshmallow Oreo
Winner: Chocolate Marshmallow Oreo. No fudge face please.
Dark Chocolate Oreo scoring
- first bite: ok so it feels pretty standard to a normal oreo until the last few seconds when it is just the filling. and oh boy, very chocolately on the filling. I am all chocolate now.
- just cookie: standard choco cookie. I know it doesn’t taste more like chocolate and yet my brain wants to say it is.
- just filling: ok I feel I need to stop putting the WHOLE FILLING in my mouth at once. I need a bucket of milk, this is very very very fudgey in your face.
- dipped in beverage: milk is actually pretty needed here. anything to tone down the fudge face.
- last bite: DO YOU LOVE CHOCOLATE FUDGE?? if so, have I got a cookie for you!
Chocolate Marshmallow Oreoscoring
- first bite: YO this is a marshmallow! I had no idea! its so weirddddddd. it even smells like a marshmallow. but a chocolately one? how do you do that oreo?!
- just cookie: now this tastes like a less chocolately cookie. my mouth is broken.
- just filling: ok now it tastes less like a marshmallow! slightly marshmallowy? im so confused y’all. what if I can never taste food correctly again?!
- dipped in beverage: milk is ok? it doesn’t really need it and it makes it soggy and I don’t like soggy.
- last bite: by the time i’m done it doesn’t taste as much like marshmallows as the first bite. less s’more, if you will However, it is actually a more balanced cookie and I do not need to chug milk.
26 Jul 2020
Day 5: HIT Cocoa Cookie vs Pink Sugar Cookie
Winner: Pink Sugar Cookie aka Crack Cookie
HIT Cocoa Cookie scoring:
- smell: slight chocolate? very faint smells
- first bite: holy poo this is a crumbly cookie. it’s like everywhere! so dry cookie but good fudgyness in the middle.
- second bite: the cookie explosions are hard to deal with. I’m def eating this over my plate to control the crumbs.
- dipping in beverage: ohhhhh no. the cookie disintegrates in the milk. soggy mess city here.
- last bite: meh. the cocoa middle is great but it is surrounded by exploding cookie. I even tried to cut it open to get at the frosting and it shattered in my hand.
- fingers: so many crumbs. so little time.
Pink Sugar Cookie scoring:
- smell: sugar bomb. straight to the sinuses.
- first bite: crackcooookiessssssss. zero redeeming qualities other than it is packed with fake suagrs.
- second bite: can feel my teeth rotting in my skull. and also my mother yelling at me to eat real food. or is it this room yelling at me? :thinking_face:
- dipping in beverage: should I be concerned that the cookie will not absorb liquid? it just rolllls right off as though coated in teflon.
- last bite: I think i’m dying from the sugar rush. can that happen? can your heart just vibrate right out of your chest?
- fingers: slightly crumbly as cookie dust sticks to them.
26 Jul 2020
Day Four: Double Stuffed Oreo vs Carrot Cake Oreo
Winner: Carrot Cake Oreo
Double Stuffed scoring
- first bite: awwww yeah. classic oreo in my mouths. I feel such nostalgia for SE Asia right now.
- just cookie: solid chocolate cookie. nothing fancy but doesn’t need to be.
- just filling: holy poo on toast this is a sugar rush. also I forgot my knife and I had to be a heathen and scrape it off with my teeth.
- dipped in beverage: unpopular opinion that oreos do not improve dipped in milk. soggy mess.
- last bite: ok double stuff might be too much. chugging water to handle the sugar rush. I prefer a normal oreo but minus one cookie aka an openfaced oreo aka a REO.
Carrot Cake scoring
- first bite: whoaaaaaa what is happening here? ok we got the spicyness of the carrot cake, then the cream cheese filling, then something else? just sugar? IM SO CONFUSED AND EXCITED ABOUT THIS
- just cookie: this cookie is much harder than normal oreos but it took me awhile to believe it was different texture not just flavor. very crunchy cookie! spicy flavors but not as strong as the first bite. it’s kinda like a very mild ginger snap omg yes thats it, this cookie takes a long time to understand.
- just filling: this is exactly cream cream frosting and I should not have put the whole thing in my mouth at once. its TOO MUCH. also it has some minor underlying flavor I can’t nail down. I think it’s whatever makes the frosting hold it’s shape and so some fake thing? I dunno. I need a bucket of water right now.
- dipped in beverage: oooo dipping in coffee is quite good. bitterness of coffee tones down the sugar of the frosting which is really nice.
- last bite: agree that this 100% tastes like carrot cake. only complaint is the cookie to filling ratio. needs more spicy cookie! so really I need an OREOO :slightly_smiling_face:
26 Jul 2020
Mi-del Ginger Snaps vs Keebler Fudge Stripes
Winner: Mi-del Ginger Snaps. I picked the non-trash cookie!
Keebler Fudge Stripes scoring
- smell: mmmmmm fake chocolate childhood
- first bite: whoaaaaaa nostalgia kicking in here. slightly shortbread cookie but wow the chocolate really kicks in towards the end. like getting hit with a chocolate hammer
- second bite: strong sugar connotations happening. losing the cookie undertones and leading with the chocolate hammer
- dipping in beverage: eh? this cookie disintegrates pretty fast. hold it under too long and you get soggy mess. not enough and it doesn’t really change anything about the cookie.
- last bite: ok I don’t think this is a shortbread cookie. it’s just… cookie? does it have flavor or is it only a vehicle for chocolate drizzle? those shady keebler elves pushing their chocolate crack on the children.
- fingers: this chocolate def melts in your hand AND your mouth. gotta put it down a lot to keep the fingers clean. though if you like licking chocolate from said fingers, have I got a cookie for you.
Mi-del Ginger Snaps scoring
- smell: mmmmmm spices and ginger and yummy winter smells
- first bite: solid crunch factor, though it could stand to be a bit softer. excellent ginger flavors, just a hint of other spices (I dunno spices dont make me look it up).
- second bite: happy happy cookie dance for meeeeeee. starts to get a smidge of heat from the spices which is so cozy and warm.
- dipping in beverage: heyo softer cookie! not too much or you get soggy cookie and that texture is vomit
- last bite: not gonna lie, this is a quality cookie. may even make it to the top of The Way of the Cookie Cult.
- fingers: clean clean clean fingers